I know how my mother felt now

I am an very protective person by nature when it comes to my children and the same goes for my granddaughter.  I was very concerned that so many people were visiting their room, regardless of how well meaning, as she was recovering from major surgery, trying to breastfeed, and the likelihood of contagious illness increases with the more people present.  Not only did they come in the droves, the baby was passed around like a loaf of bread.  I had a lump in my throat the whole time she was in the hospital.  And many brought their children and several touched her little hands which go straight into her little mouth.  Even the nursing staff made comments about the excess of visitors but never fielded any of them…I guess their hospital’s lenient visitation policy. 

I was at my daughter’s beck and call and picked up things from their home and made food runs, whatever they needed the 5 days she was in the hospital.  She had to stay an extra day because the baby had not gained enough weight (thanks to the constant barage of visitors).  But this was defended by my son in law’s mother as  not having anything to do with it even though my daughter admitted that by the time she shooed the visitors out to nurse, the baby was so hungry she could not latch on.  The nursing staff finally took her and bottle fed her for part of a day. 

When I first arrived for the delivery, her mother in law insisted that I stay at her house when I helped with the baby upon her arrival home since she informed me that my daughter and her son needed their privacy.  So I trapsed back and forth everyday and night between the two houses.   As gracious as her inlaws were with food and shelter, their insistence that I not stay at my daughter and son in laws’ home I still feel was none of their business but my daughter and son in laws’ choice to make.  Don’t get me wrong, they are nice people, just controlling.

I remember my mother telling me how hard it was to be a grandmother and see things what worry you and know you must be careful not to interfere.  I now know what she meant.  Watching all those people steal my daughter’s sleep, potentially risk my granddaughter with germs, made it very difficult not to speak out, but she is my daughter and son in law’s child and they are the parents.